Less Convenient Than an Angel
by Quiet Harmony-chan
Summary: Ene is sent to Wonderland because the guy who was supposed to go got sick. Now she's having to juggle her mission and the feelings that had been buried since her casket had been put in the ground. *Full Summary Inside*
1. Chapter 1

**Full Summary: Wonderland had been created by God as a place for those who were hurting to relax, but when the seven angles who were supposed to guard it come to Wonderland, they corrupt it making the humans have clocks for hearts. Now God sends his best warrior to imprison them- oh wait that guy is sick? Well...Looks like we're going to have to improvise. **

**...**

**Ene's POV**

**...**

I popped the thermometer out of Michael's mouth, humming when it showed the impossibly high number of 200 degrees Fahrenheit. Angels, they love showing off how heavenly they are, even when their sorry asses are sick. Of course a simple spirit like me can't complain, at least I lazed around heaven all day, not killing demons and taking messages to some ungrateful human.

By now you're probably curious as to who I am. If not then why did you bother reading this story? Well, as far as you're concerned, my name is Ene. No, I don't have a last name, it died when I did. My looks are of no importance, I'm a grey see through thing since I'm a spirit, we're all monochromatic. As to how I died...Well I didn't die from old age.

I stop raping the fourth wall as the door is opened and a buxom and blonde angel walk in, swaying her hips better than a prostitute. "So, how's Michael?"

"Wonderful, he's burning up like a furnace and puking up gold dust." I'm not kidding you, angels do have that nasty habit.

"Well looks like I'll have to report to God so he can find another angel to go down to _that _place."

"Good for you."

The angel tilts her head to the side. "Is there something the matter Ene, you're looking hazier than usual."

I fight the urge to rip those dyed wings of her back. "I need more holy water."

"Well better do so before you fade away~"

I watch the angel leave the room before looking down at Michael. His large muscular body was all over the bed, his plump lips ripe for the taking. Of course if I just kissed him I'd probably end up getting kicked out of heaven, trust me when I tell you hell is not a nice place to hang out. It's hotter than a volcano inside a volcano inside you're in-laws insults.

I turn on my heel and go out the door into the sunny hallway. Angels of all shapes, sizes, and genders are walking down it going to one of the many chapels that the 'Golden Base' has. I follow one angel with a mohawk out of boredom, curious as to why he was going to chapel. Now when I use the word chapel don't think of your grandmother's church, think more like a top secret base that -insert your country here- uses.

I stop outside the black doors, watching the guy put his eye to a scanner, then his hand. The door opens with a sing-songy click and I see a glimpse of angels and guns, I'm sure if this part had been in the Bible people would have read it more often. I sigh as the doors close and I feel the loneliness beginning to set in. It's not the kind that wishes for company, I never really liked people much, but the kind that wanted to do something to prove myself. To show that I hadn't just been allowed into heaven because I aced purgatory.

"Ene please report to Chapel One, your presence is required." A robotic voice announces over the intercom system.

Every angel that had heard was now staring at me with a wide mouth. I don't blame them, it's not everyday you're invited to go see God. I make my way down the hallway, my feet shuffling across the lawn green carpet. No spirit ever just gets called by God, if God wanted to see you he was either punishing you or decided that he wanted to hear your life story for no other reason than to aggravate you.

I get to a break in the corridor, here gold horns and swords are mounted to the wall, and a large silver door with a tree embozed on it finishes the hallway. Outside it stood two tall angels with flame swords and fancy silver armor. They move aside so I can enter, but not before they demand some of my holy water. Holy water is to angels, what beer is to humans, they don't need the crap, I do!

I take a deep breath and push on the door, an annoying creaking filling my ears. I take a step in and put my hands behind my back, giving off the most respectable look I can muster. The room isn't worth describing since it's just pearly white. A gold throne with red velvet cushions was in the middle of the room with a shining gold light sitting on it. You can't see threw the light to look at God, but he can see you just fine, trust me on that.

"Ene, how are you my little spirit?"

I try and keep my thoughts positive since the man can read minds. "Good, I was just helping Michael recover."

"Hm, getting Dense Wing during this time is very inconvenient, I told the fool not to enter that Japanese shrine."

I half listen to the man's whin-I mean speech. He goes on and on about how angels shouldn't enter into other gods temples and how them getting sick put a work load on everyone else. I was on the verge of asking him, respectfully of course, to shut up when he gives a sigh and claps his hands.

"So, because of Michael's stupidity and Gabriel's working habits I decided you will go down to _that_ place."

"Sayeth what!"

**...**

**Third Person POV**

**...**

Light trickled through the elegant forest of Wonderland giving off a peaceful impression to Alice who was walking down the path to Clover Tower. She clutched her rough, straw basket tightly, eager to show off her coffee making skills with some new beans that she had bought. It would send her score up so high that Julius would announce that he would leave the tower, just to see where she had bought them. Alright that part wouldn't happen, but she would have a high score.

Alice stopped in the middle of the path as the sun disappeared behind some clouds and the birds stopped chirping. She inclined her head back, when the loud sound of cicadas reached her ears. Didn't those insects only come out in summer? It was warm, but not nearly close to summer, Joker's circus had yet to arrive.

The cicadas gt louder, drowning out her thoughts and making Alice's heart race. She started running down the path, hoping to make it to the tower before getting caught in the swarm, but luck had never loved Alice, and proved it by allowing her to trip on a conveniently placed root.

Alice's face hit the ground, coffee beans spilled every which way. It was an utter catastrophe, but adrenaline was pumping through her veins, crossing out Alice's thought to get the beans up. She got to her feet, ignoring the burning in her ankle, and almost made it to the door when a burst of gold light exploded around her.

She turned around slowly and gasped when she saw a young woman at least eighteen kneeling on the ground. Her skin was a dark olive and she had spiky, short honey brown hair arranged in a straight bob that framed her thin face with white pins keeping the bangs out of her face. A long sleeved brown dress with pink plaid in the skirt was fitted on her body with white stockings and black flats. Her eyes slowly opened, showing off their colorless grey pigment, but the confusion in them made up for it.

"Damn, I thought this place was hopping."

Alice watched the girl stand up all the way, showing off her average height and lack of a chest. She put her hands on her hips, the only thing she seemed to have plenty of, and sigh. She seemed to be lost on what to d, and had no weapon, so Alice decided to risk her life.

"H-Hey," her heart sped up when the girl looked at her. "are you lost?"

"Yeah, just got here."

"Oh," Alice leaned on the door. "where did you come from before?"

"A little town in Florida."

Florida? Alice's eyes widened and she ran over to the girl, taking her long hands. "You're a foreigner!"

"Maybe? Uh, look I have no idea where I am and I'm looking for people, so leave me alone, kay?"

The girl ripped her hands out of Alice's and turned on her heel, muttering to her self in a melodic language. Alice watched for a second before an idea came to mind. "Hey what's your name?!"

The girl didn't even stop or turn around. "Ene."

**...**

**There! I got this idea after playing a vid game. Sorry if this chapter sucked, it will get better, it's just that Ene's POV is very childish because, unless she's in a mood, she's a sarcastic and childish person. Anyway thanks for reading and please review. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Ah! One fallow and two reviews, more than I thought I'd get! Thanks a lot guys, I didn't think anyone would read this kind f story, but once again proving me wrong.**

**Borislvr: I'm glad you think so. Writing these kind of stories is easy for me, but getting the ideas is hard.**

**k: Um, well I didn't get it from a dating sim, I gt if from a game called El Shadai**_**. **_**I sorta bought the game last week then took it back. Cannablism should never look that freaking cute. Thanks for thinking it's original, I try not to do the, -girl comes to Wonderland to fall in love and probably hates love or has a mind that is too scientific- thing. It's done all the time and normally lacks a plot. **

**...**

**Ene's POV**

**...**

I walked down the path, eyes alert just waiting for one of the seven angles to pounce on me. You'd think they would stay away, but that's not necessarily true. In this realm they had the most power, and taunting me would make me stumble off the path.

At any rate I'm already falling all over the place. It had been so long since I had been human, it felt strange to have an actual weight to worry about. I felt like if I stepped too hard on the grass I'd fall through and break my face on what ever lies below.

I continue walking in a straight line until I come face to face with a giant tree standing in my way. I look around it and spy a path, of course, that leads up to a maze. The maze is one of those hedge ones you'd see in old fashioned English gardens.

"I wish they gave me a map instead of just spartan kicking me down here." I fish my hand into the pocket of my dress. The only thing they gave me before kicking me out was a hand gun. A lovely silver .38 revolver, an old fashioned thing that concerns the hell out of me.

I stop fiddling with the gun, it'd be pathetic to say that I killed myself, and started walking, just for the sunny sky to become pitch black. "What the hell!"

**...**

Just in case any of you poor readers end up in the twisted Wonderland I have a warning. Never under any circumstances run around a maze in the middle of the night. You will be seen as a spy and chased by a bunch of guards without a face.

I pump more power into my legs panting like a beat dog. So close behind were a bunch of guard's claiming I was a spy trying to murder one of the Role Holders. Yes I'm here to murder, but not them, I could care a less about clock people! I squeal as metal hits the ground, knowing that the men's weapons almost hit me.

I take a quick turn to the left and find myself at a dead end. I grasp the bush and begin scaling it, looking very pathetic as I do so. One of the weapons is chucked at me and misses me by a hair. I shriek and continue my ascent.

At this point I'm sure you're curious on why I didn't just shot them. Well that's easier said than done. The type of gun I have only has ammunition that can kill an angel, not anything else. So that means I have to run around and find bullets for this old fashioned gun of mine, yay.

I get to the top of the hedge and just drop to the other side, a painful landing on my face couldn't stop me though because I heard those idiots climbing. "Dammit don't you guys have anything better to do!"

"No," The sound of a gun clicking close to my head makes my heart jump."there job is to get rid of scum like you."

I shift my body slightly and find a youngish looking man with white hair, red eyes shielded by glasses, and rabbit ears. Holy mother, what was wrong with him, was that a disease here? I open my mouth to say something, but the cold metal touches my skin.

"Now please explain who you are."

**...**

**Third Person POV**

**...**

Ene's feet barely touched the ground as Peter dragged her through the maze. After telling him that she wasn't from here and had been at home before falling into a hole, he had hugged her and began talking a hundred miles a minute. Half of the conversation went over her head, other parts made it to her ears, but was quickly replaced by more words from Peter WHite.

Apparently he was the Prime Minister of Heart Castle. It was also apparent that, since she was a foreigner, it would be safest if she stayed with him. Ene couldn't get a word in edge wise, but that didn't exactly matter at the moment because she was getting through that damn maze.

Making it to the actual entrance of heart castle, Ene's eyes were utterly floored. The place was gorgeous. It had large windows to let in plenty of light, tear drop chandeliers, and beautiful wine red carpets that felt as soft as her bed in heaven. In fact if Peter hadn't been dragging her along, she probably would have sunk to the floor and fell asleep.

"You must be very tired after those scum tried to kill you." Peter said. "I'll take you to a guest room and you can sleep in comfort."

"Sure."

For some reason this made Peter happy and he practically floated to a door on the left. Upon opening it Ene found it to be a little more plain than the main room. A desk was positioned under a window with a straight back chair. A large bed was placed on the wall so it was in the center of the room with lovely dark red blankets. Next to the bed was a small table that had a vase filled with red roses.

"I will come and wake you up in the morning and show you all around the castle."

"Thanks."

Peter tilted his head to the side. "Are you alright? Those scum didn't actually hurt you did they?"

Ene shook her head and began sliding off her shoes. "Nah, I'm just tired is all." She looked over to the rabbit and smiled. "Thank you, Peter White."

The rabbit grinned and picked up one her large hands, kissing it. "Anything for you, Ene."

**...**

**Ene's POV**

**...**

As soon as the rabbit took his leave I fell back on the bed and sighed. That guy was way too happy to do stuff for me, it was kinda concerning. I pushed myself under the covers and stared out the window which gave me a nice view of a rose garden. The roses reminded me of home, my mother had an obsession with them since those were the flowers of love or something. Then again it should have been expected since she planned weddings and the like for a living.

Speaking of love I thought that God had sent a girl here to ease her heart. Why was Peter so attached to me when she was around? Her name was Alice I believe, in fact I met the girl in the forest. I had thought it was a bad idea bringing her here since she sucked at relationships, but God thought she deserved it. I shut my eyes and relax into the pillow. Ah, I'll just ask some one about it tomorrow.

**...**

**A/N: And done! I should probably tackle my science now, but this was too much fun to write. **


End file.
